What are the 10 qualities of a man to be a perfect husband material?
A lot of people write about why their relationships always fail… why they can’t get a guy to commit… why they always “have to” get hurt… why guys treat them badly… why they always find the guy that doesn’t fit them. The reason for all these questions is that many are choosing men that are clearly NOT a husband – or even a relationship – material. Just out of blue many of you hope that these guys, from one day to another, will turn into their “prince charming” and live happily ever after with them.
WRONG!!! This only happens in Disney movies or Hollywood romantic comedies. If you decide to go for a guy that you can clearly see that he just isn’t a relationship material, you’re setting yourself up to fail before starting. You’ll face different excuses that either he says in person or you might start thinking; he’s struggling at work, he has emotional issues, he’s still living with his parents because he’s still not ready to leave his nest, he behaves as if he was still in his early 20’s (even though he’s way over 30) and all he does is get drunk, behaves like an idiot, but still hopes to get away with it. Darling, he’s NOT a husband type. Any of these excuses are not actually excuses. They’re just not the kind of man you’re looking for.
There’s a big difference between what you want and what you need. Many times it’s difficult to differentiate them. You might want to have a guy who’s tall, butch (to make sure he could defend you if needed), charming and in a high career position. The issue might be that this guy might have what you want him to have, but not what you actually need.
Doesn’t matter if you’re single, dating, of in a serious relationship, check out the following 10 qualities you should check in a man for him to be a nice fit for a future husband.
1. He loves your good qualities, and accepts the bad.
He should never make your feel guilty for having flaws. Nobody is perfect.
You should never hide the true you from him. Please don’t be one of these who fakes to be someone else just to like him. You can’t fake to be someone you are not for the rest of your life. Share with him the real you, feel vulnerable and feel safe doing so. Doing this, if he really cares, it will make you both closer to each-other.
2. He is there for you when you need him, even if it’s inconvenient for him.
In a real relation many times you need to sacrifice and compromise. There’s always unexpected situations in life. There are way too many things in life which you can’t predict or life just won’t go 100% as you planned. A real husband-material guy will be next to you when ever you need him. Supporting you in every step of your life, and even more important, companions you in the difficult steps of your life. He’ll be next to you helping you to go through the storm, even if he actually prefers to stay in the sunshine.
3. He is growth-oriented.
In a relationship, his behaviour affects you and vice versa. Sometimes his less developed characteristics will have a negative effect on you. So what, life is not just back and white. A growth-oriented guy will even ask for your help to help him develop his weaknesses and counts on your support on it. Not growth-oriented guy will just say your problem and this is the way he is and you need to deal with it.
You might be dating a guy who can surprise you with insensitive moments at times. Maybe he doesn’t give you emotional support when you’ve had a rough day and instead just gives you matter of fact advice in a direct way. His no nonsense approach to solving problems might be useful to him in the workplace, but it might be hurtful to you sometimes when he doesn’t empathize with what you’re going through and instead just tells you what to do about it, or gets impatient by the fact that you’re upset over something he doesn’t consider to be that big of a deal.
You want a guy who will accept that his tone can be harsh and hurtful and who actually tries to work on it, not one who says it’s your problem and you need to deal with it. He probably won’t get it right every time, but if he’s growth oriented he will at least try.
4. Considers you when making decisions, both big and small.
Relationship does NOT mean dictatorship. You’re both in this together. By asking your opinion and participation in making decisions (doesn’t matter if big or small decisions) is a sign that he cares about you and wants to get you involved to his life. It’s not always easy to take in consideration another person, but that’s what relationships are about.
5. Common beliefs and values.
Obvious but often overlooked. You need to make sure that you both are on the same page, or make sure that he respects your point of view (and vice versa). Both of you need to be willing to work together to reach a mutually fulfilling middle ground. If he’s going to be your life partner, you better make sure you both are on the same or similar page in issues that matter. This covers religion, core values, whether you want to have children, lifestyle preference, where you want to live.
6. He views you as his partner.
He sees you as his equal, someone with great values he can grow with, not as someone who’s there to feed his ego, be his emotional crutch, give him validation, be there to satisfy his needs. You’re a team, you and him, together. You’re both stronger together than what you could be on your own.
Your ambitions, opinions, your thoughts, the things you say, your job – he respects everything about you and supports your decisions about them. Never makes you feel bad about your life circumstances. He appreciates the person you are and the choses you have made and will make.
7. He’s trustworthy.
You don’t need to hide anything from him. You’re feeling completely safe being honest and opened with him. You don’t need to be afraid of him violating that trust or using anything against you. You don’t need to be worrying about if he’s going to dump you all the sudden, that he actually does mean what he says. You don’t feel a hidden suspicion of him cheating on you, or if he has some ulterior motives. You trust that he cares about you deeply and would never intentionally hurt you.
8. You’re able to communicate with each other.
Even about tough issues and even if one person is upset with the other.
You will not be afraid of bringing up any certain things because of fear of causing a storm. With the right guy you will not have this fear. You’re both very opened to talk about anything. You know that he respects you and will accept what you have to say. We all have obstacles in our relationships, fights, misunderstandings, arguments, and times when one partner isn’t feeling loved. The best way to get over these situations is by working on them together. All of that starts off with an open communication.
9. He is willing to put effort into the relationship.
Having a problem, he’s there to help you solve it. He wants to work harder, to be better, to be his best self to go through the issues you’re facing together hand-in-hand. Many times men thing that working hard means that they have to put heavy effort to their job to provide you with nice and fancy things, have a comfortable lifestyle. This is not what I wanted to say. Working hard in a relationship means that he would be next to you what-ever-matters and fights to help you get back on your feet when you’re feeling down, going that extra mile to make you smile again.
10. He wants to marry you.
Sounds obvious but it’s not. He can have all the qualities of a perfect man but if he doesn’t want to marry you (may be he doesn’t believe in marriage or doesn’t want to get marries in general), he’s definitely not going to be your husband. A guy knows quite early if he’s ready to get married or not, when meeting someone. It doesn’t mean that they’d get engaged straight away, but he knows this is it and you know it too. He might tell it to you but at the same time it might be more than obvious that there’s no needs for words. It might be the wrong time, maybe he wants to wait until he’s more established in his career, more financially stable, but he will still convey his level of commitment, she won’t be left hanging and guessing and wondering.
After all that, if you can see that there’s still a ghost in a closet and is still drawn to the single, bachelor, party boy lifestyle, he is not marriage-minded and you are setting yourself up for disappointment. If you look for something more serious, to make that big step some day, make sure that you’re both on the same page. In case you’re not both on the same page, bring it up with him and talk about it. If he’s a husband-material, he’ll understand it. If he’s not… at least you know it before wasting any more time!!!
I'm passionate about social media, new technologies, gadgets, business development, healthy cooking, fitness, music and travel. I like spending time walking around and getting inspiration.
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