I’ve been told over and over that it’s never too late, up until that very moment. I have no one to blame; no one but myself. Realization had dawned when the losses were too much to be redeemed. But, still it’s never too late, that’s what I have been told.
My name is Ella. My parents were pirates, and I have succeeded the profession, I was too fierce and brutal that I made a hell of a lasting impression long after my parents had passed away. But, everything took a wrong turn when I fell in love with a handsome lord, Colin, who went bankrupt when I ordered my crew to bring me all of his ships, which were loaded with his entire wealth. A good man like him would never fall in love with a criminal and a murderer like me. So I had to make a decision. I had to change my life, the only life that I knew. I have summoned the devil to make a pact with him; to undo my past, and make my life respectable enough for this lord, whom I have grown fond of day by day. The pact was: the Devil would wipe out the memories of the human race about me, and forge their memories to make them see me as a good woman who was born to a mediocre family, so that I would be compatible with the lord. In return, if I were to commit to wrongdoing then the devil would win and sire me to him so I would be his human demon on earth and lead people astray, to join us in hell. And so the devil did what I asked for. I was convinced that I was evil because of the way that I was brought up, and because of the life I had. I only made the pact out of pure love for Lord Colin. What a greater motive is there other than changing for someone else’s love and acceptance.
I lived in this lie for 17 years. The first 5 years I was making an impression and carving my way to the lord, the following years, I was married to him and this was happiness at its finest. Then one day I discovered my husband’s infidelity. The love of my life was cheating on me with one of my Abigails. And the lovely people around us knew about it and never mentioned anything to me. And so, I lost it. I lost myself to rage and revenge. The love of my life, Lord Colin, had rendered me incapable of living, gulped all the rational I had once possessed before banishing me back to my dark hole. I welcomed myself to my past with arms wide open that he had pushed me towards. And so I unlocked the door to the demons that I had once exorcised; I let them linger in my veins and dance to a melody in my head on the rhythm of my heart beats again. The smoke and fire of my dark side have ignited my desire to chase pure lust for self-destruction; even when Colin was the one who had done that to me, I still missed and wanted him. Even when I’m hundred layers of insanity away from him, I could still shiver on the sound of his voice I play over and over in my head. My demons have taken over my heaven and for every good part I had built in there, nasty parts were growing, and that’s when I realized that the hope of coming back to sanity will never feel better than the one I dreamt of, that’s when I killed Colin and the rest of the people I loved. Reality is the bitter of imagination. And so the things that were once dreams to seek now are nightmares to fight.
The devil came to me right away, filled with joy that could lit this whole world with shiny stars. “You lost, I won. But, I have to say, you took longer than I expected.” he said smirking at me. “How did you know I would lose?” I asked in disgust. “You and your kind never cease to amaze me with your stupidity. As much as you humans are smart, you could be as dumb as ever. You never realize your true nature until it’s too late. You think you are either good as Angels or bad as Demons. What you don’t comprehend is that you are both. You are the miracle. You are the only creatures who are possessed with qualities to make you good and bad all at once, to make mistakes and then redeem them. You lost Ella, long ago. You lost the day you summoned me; the day you thought that I was the solution, the best part is that I am never the solution, I am always the image and the manipulation of the solution. You didn’t need have to change the whole world to be a good woman; you didn’t need have to love someone else to change yourself. You see, Ella, you humans, unlike us the Demons and the Angels, have a choice. You should have loved yourself, not the selfish love kind, no, but to love yourself to the extent that you would want to be a good person for yourself, regardless. You should have forgiven yourself, and then when you start changing for the better for your own sake, you could have made the whole world change for you. When they see you believing in the good inside of you, they would have eventually loved and respected you. It’s called the human heart, Ella, the act of forgiving and forgetting. You chose the other way around, you thought the love of someone else would prevail over the love of yourself to change, but you were wrong. People are here one moment and the other they simply die and no longer exist; they change over time; to the better or worse. You can’t count your goodness and self-worth on something that variable; on someone who is as much human as you are, someone who would make as much mistakes as you would.” He said, and the joy was growing and glowing I couldn’t bear it. Tears pooled my eyes and regret washed me over. “Please, don’t sire me, Can’t I redeem myself?” I sobbed. “That is something you have to figure out yourself, Ella. But, for now you are sired to me; you are my demon on earth. You will lead people astray me as much as you possibly can.” He said, with a confusing smiling, hoping that she never finds a way.